The Student of the Game

That’s right, dear readers, the first week is in the the books and all the extravagent, rediculous, gaudy, ra-ra BS is out of the way. Here’s a rhetorical question for you: Why is someone who was cast as the head of the “gay” mophia on a popular TV show (”Will and Grace”) performing to hype up the opening night for the NFL? I think this is a fair question. (I won’t even go into his decision to sing about Saturday night when it is COLLEGE ball that plays at that time.)In any case, in addition to the “shows” some serious butt kicking action is in the books as well. But just as in ANY first week of the NFL, there were some surprises that took place that will be featured in out first segment, the UPSET SPECIALS.

Now for those of you who requested their teams to be featured, if they are underdogs and win, they WILL NOT be seen in the upset specials, but rather reported in the Features just like normal. The teams currently featured are the Chiefs, Steelers, Vikings, Browns, and Bucs. Those who wish to request a team to be featured must get their request in by next week.

UPSET SPECIALS

Since this was the first week, the menu here is really more of a light supper. Since it is the first week, expectations weren’t really set in stone quite yet, but then there is the law of “Any Given Sunday”.

CHARGERS vs. TEXANS . . .

Our first course features this year’s team voted “most likely to go 0-16″, the San Diego Chargers, in their victory over the Houston Texans who are still suffering from expansion growing pains.

As expected, both star RBs in the game, the Chargers’ Ladanian Tomlinson and the Texans’ Domanick Davis accounted for TDs (1 and 2 scored respectively). That’s no big surprise, so where came the difference?

The impact performance came from a player who typically IS an impact player, but more to his team’s DETRIMENT — Charger QB Drew Brees who threw 72% (17-24) for 209 yards and 2 TDs. What made matters worse, Houston gave up 4 turnovers including 2 fumbles lost by Domanick Davis and Texan QB David Carr’s 2 INTS (Carr also threw for 0 TDs).

With the rest of the scoring coming from kicks, 4 turnovers is enough for even the CHARGERS to beat you. Of course the Chargers lose here too because this performance will only make decisions regarding rookie hold-out QB Phillip Rivers more confusing.

To begin our next course, in my preseason analysis I had referred to the Buffalo Bills as the team that everyone forgets. The reason for this is losses to teams such as the Jacksonville Jaguars. Granted they seem to be the “kosher” choice to pick as the legitimate longshot for this year’s Super Bowl (i.e. the Panthers last year) amoungst the TV analyst world, but none the less, they weren’t favored to win this one.

JAGS vs. BILLS

Jax features QB Byorn Leftwich who is easily THE single most over-rated QB in the league right now. In true throwing glory, he accounted for BOTH of the Jags Turnovers with 2 INTs (18-36, 50% for 147 yards 1 TD). The other QB is a perenial passer who threw no INTs, Buffalo’s Drew Bledsoe (17-26, 65% for 153 and 1 TD). I’m sure there are morons who would have taken the Moron from Marshall University over the experienced Bledsoe, but this match-up was only what kept the game close.

Though Leftwich was picked twice, the Bills coughed up 3 fumbles 2 of which were recovered by the other team. Suddenly the turnover equation balances out.

Now usually, I preach turnovers being a difference in a game. But the glaring difference I see is the missed 37 yard FG by Buffalo kicker Ryan Lindell. If that connected, then maybe instead it would only have been an over-time scare for the Bills rather than a selection in the UPSET SPECIALS!

FEATURED 5 (Browns, Bucs, Chiefs, Vikings, and Steelers)

Browns vs. Ravens. . .

The recap of this game opens with one of the many “thank you “cards sent to the 49er Front Office who released several good players for other teams to enjoy. In this case, I refer to the Browns new QB Jeff Garcia. His performance was great posting throwing 62.5% (15/24) for 180 yards and 2 TDs (1 pass and a 3 yard run) with NO INTs against the always intimidating Ravens “D” in Clevland’s 20-3 win.

Further disappointment was brought on the Ravens not only in QB Kyle Boller’s 2 INTs with 0 TDs, but also in the performance of RB Jamal Lewis. After running for around 500 yards in 2 games last year against Clevland, the Browns looking for retribution to their humiliation, held Lewis to 57 yards. The cherry on top of this outcome — a crucial division decision for BOTH teams favors Clevland and effects Baltmore’s chances at taking the AFC North again.

Vikings vs. Cowboys . . . The team who “can’t make it to the Super Bowl” (according to some of the readers) with the QB in Minnesota who isn’t “good enough to get to the Super Bowl” threw 5 TDs (2 WR Randy Moss, 1 each for RB Ontario Smith and WRs Marcus Robinson, and Kelley Campbell). All this with an incredible 74%(17-23) and 242 yards against a respectable C-boys “D”.

Despite the absolute smashing they took, Dallas can look up at the performance of their aging QB Vinny Testaverde who threw as if he was experiencing a mid-life crisis going 29-50 and 58% completion pecentage and 1 TD. RB Eddie George only had 8 carries for 25 yards.

Their defense will be tested as the Vikings take on the Eagles next week.

Chiefs vs. Broncos. . . OH lord! Someone in the marketing department was looking to put butts in the seats for THIS season opener, and you better know the fans got their money’s worth as “the man who works on Sundays” RB Priest Holmes lead KC on a crusade to try to repent Jake “the Serpent” Plummer and the Broncos at Mile High (yes, I know it’s really the Snake — but SOMEONE had to have gotten the religious humor in there, right?).

The match-up, as always, was an exciting one to watch but for all those who doubted CB Champ Bailey and S John Lynch, notice the big goose egg that falls next to the KC QB Trent Green’s “Passing TDs” column in the KC 34-24 loss.

The passing game altogether was the was the biggest problem. With the only KC reciever over 30 yards being WR Eddie Kennison (101), Holmes and TE Tony Gonzalez did not produce in the air like they normally do. With 174 yards total passing, Kennison was his only true airborne threat.

In all fairness, the Priest did run for 151 yards and attain 3 TDs, but Denver RB Quentin Griffin put up 156 yards of his own with 2 TDs in a performance that rivaled Holmes presence that night. (Who’s Clinton Portis again?)

The real pressue comes in that this is an early divisional loss for the Cheifs, against the team that has a legitimate shot to vie for the AFC West championship. Though he can sometimes, Priest Holmes can’t ALWAYS do it alone.

Bucs vs. ‘Skins. . . .

OH! THAT’s who Clinton Portis is — the dude that opened that 16-10 Bucs loss with a 64 yard sprint for the game’s first score. But then effective running against the Bucs was an option teams had last season as well.

This, in addition to the fact that Bucs QB Brad Johnson spent more time on his back than Mike Tyson in his last 2 bouts (4 times to be exact), shows that BOTH Tampa lines are a problem. Granted, the D-line is somewhat dimished with DT Warren Sapp’s relocation to Oakland, but they still have YET to show decent protection with their offensive line.

No longer is Tampa’s “D” good enough to win games, but they are still good enough to out score their offense since 7 of the 10 points came from a CB Ronde Barber who returned a fumble recovery to tie the game.

Apparently, the ‘Skins are using the “Run and Bash” style of football that Joe Gibbs is so famous for as Clinton Portis ran for 148 yards and the O-line gave up 0 sacks.

The Bucs need to learn how to block the LB blitz before they can hope to win anything. Then MAYBE they might improve their offense.
Steelers vs. Raiders. . . The geriatric Raider QB Rich Gannon managed to throw 305 yards (81 to WR and UCF Allumnus Doug Gabriel including a TD hook-up) and 2 TDs but also threw 2 INTS (representing less that HALF of the 5 turnovers) and a 54% completion (20-37).

However, Steeler QB Tommy Maddox went INT-free going 59% (13-22) but only achieved 147 yards in the air (99 to WR Hines Ward). While RB Steeler acquisition from Phlly, Deuce Staley, ran for 91 yards himself, the big story was a man who only managed 1 total yard of offense. . . but 3 TDS — only one man, RB Jerome “the Bus” Bettis — who wanted him to retire last year?? Fools. .

With a kick good for a field goal with only 7 seconds remaining in the game, the Steelers squeaked the win. HOWEVER how do you have THIS MUCH TROUBLE with the RAIDERS!?!? Unless the passing game gets stepped up, they will continue to suffer. Which is another question. . . how do you continue to stuggle in the air when you have WRs Plaxico Burress, Hines Ward, and Antwann Randle-El as your corps. I still see a rough year for the Steelers ahead.

With the Features over — it’s time for the RANDOM BITS — news around the NFL.

For all those who believe in the Seahawks winning the NFC West, Shaun Alexander is your Messiah — Good News: he scored the team’s 3 TDs vs. the Saints. Bad News: He’s day-to-day with an injury suffered in the same game. Will this be a huge issue vs. Tampa next week where a running game brings so much success?

Staying with the Seahawks and adding the Lions — both teams snapped a road game hex. Seattle only won a single away game last year while Detroit won their first one IN 3 YEARS!! Yes, the Lions beat the Bears, but shoot — it’s the first in 3 YEARS!!!!!!

The Panthers are in enough trouble when they were proven last year’s flukes vs. the FudgePack Monday night, they are also without cornerstone player RB Stephen Davis — yeah, they’re screwed. DelHOMO isn’t this good a QB to save their day.

To the refs who flagged Lynch on his wicked and COMPLETELY legal hit on Dante Hall — perhpas you should be able to count to 5 assesing the Offside penalty against the Broncos that ended the 1st half — that is if you can even REMEMBER you threw the FREAKIN’ FLAG — before your throw a flag on the CLEANEST HARD HITTER in the league.

As for the hit on Giant Punter Jim Beagles, that was the most rediculous unnecessary rediculousness to ever take place. Legal — YES — but no longer is T.O. the biggest ASS on the team — LB Jeremiah Trotter — I dub you the biggest ass of the Eagles franchise.

Lastly — the most significant game next week is Vikings vs. Eagles. A foreshadowing of a likely playoff game (the NFC Championship according to my Preseason Prediction). We’ll see if the Vikings “D” is even HALF of the hype.

See you next week, friends.

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From the Desk of the Student of the Game